For many people, the hardest part of starting online dating is figuring out what to put in their profile. All dating sites offer their members a profile page, where each member can write about his or herself, upload a photo (or several) etc. What you write about yourself in the profile is extremely important: second only to the picture in terms of making other members aware of who you are and making them want to contact you.
Many people are keen to start searching for and contacting people as soon as they join a site. As a result, they either leave their profile blank or write something quickly before beginning their search. This is OK if you’re just having a look around, but if you are serious about finding love online, you should take some time and make sure your profile is a good reflection of who you are. After all, its what makes you stand out from the rest of the people on the site.
Here are a few points to keep in mind:
Try to write a profile that is detailed enough to tell people about you, but short enough to leave people wanting more. Writing a full-length essay is a waste of time as most people wouldn’t bother reading it all. If someone did read it through and contacted you, you probably wouldn’t have anything left to talk about!
It’s easy to lie when writing a profile, but more difficult to follow through once you meet someone. If your profile says you’re 64 when you’re really 511, your cover will be blown as soon as you turn up for your date. Also, starting a relationship with a lie is a sure way to get off to a bad start.
Unfortunately, even people who are honest and well-meaning sometimes lie unintentionally in their profile, by trying to write it in a way that they think would make them more attractive to other people. If you want to attract a likeminded person, you have to be honest about who you are, your hobbies and interests etc.
Many people use their profiles to list the qualities they would like their ideal match to have. There is nothing wrong with that, but make sure you balance this with information about yourself. You don’t want to come across as writing a ransom note.
Avoid mentioning past disappointments and bad break-ups in your profile; this is not what space is for. Think: do you really want this to be the first thing people see when they look you up? Don’t let yourself be defined by negative aspects of your personality and bad experiences of the past.
Using humor is a good way to liven up a profile and give people a glimpse into your personality. Some of the most successful profiles are the ones that simply make people laugh. Including a joke you find funny is good, as long as you make sure you write something about yourself in the profile as well.
Anyone can write I have a good sense of humor, but not anyone could make you laugh. When writing about yourself, don’t just use a list of adjectives. Try to go deeper and give people examples of what you actually mean. A good way of doing this is starting off with a list of adjectives and then using each one as a starting point for a few lines of text.
Even the least shallow people want to know who they’re talking to. Not having a photo on your profile will make many people ignore you completely. Some people even specify in their search that they only want to speak to people whose picture appears on the site. Don’t worry about your looks. Different people have different tastes and not everyone expects to meet a movie star or a supermodel online. A clear headshot of you smiling is all it takes to seriously increase the number of responses you get.
Make sure your profile, your screen name and your picture all match the impression you want to give. If you are a woman looking for a serious relationship, calling yourself SexKitten and uploading a semi-nude picture of yourself, is not likely to attract the kind of man you’re looking for. A man looking for a wife, should probably not use a username that hints about how good he is in bed.
Remember: your profile is the first (and often last) impression you will make to potential online matches. Make it count.